On the verge of a breakdown...like huge tears, sobbing...all that good stuff.
I'm not even mad at anyone or upset about anything. Well, I mean, there's stuff that I'm upset about, but all of it isn't really bugging me right now. I'm just...exhausted. This week...this STUPID week.
I am emotionally and physically drained...
And something's about to push me over...like I got on Facebook and I went to Farmville and one of my crops was dead cause I wasn't on in time to harvest it and I almost broke down. How STUPID is that? It's not even that time of the month! I mean, I'm just at that POINT where the littlest thing is gonna just tear me apart.
I'm exhausted...totally and completely exhausted.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
*moan*
I MISS DKKKKKKKKKK.........
He needs to come home NOW. RIGHT NOW. I will not take no for an answer!
Why does tomorrow have to be so far away??? *moan*
Schedule for tomorrow...wake up, wait impatiently, shower, wait impatiently, eat breakfast, wait impatienty, finish math homework, wait impatiently, bake brownies for him and cookies for me, wait impatiently...key word here: IMPATIENT.
I KNEW I shouldn't have procrastinated on that time machine and transporter...
DK you need to come home soon....................................
He needs to come home NOW. RIGHT NOW. I will not take no for an answer!
Why does tomorrow have to be so far away??? *moan*
Schedule for tomorrow...wake up, wait impatiently, shower, wait impatiently, eat breakfast, wait impatienty, finish math homework, wait impatiently, bake brownies for him and cookies for me, wait impatiently...key word here: IMPATIENT.
I KNEW I shouldn't have procrastinated on that time machine and transporter...
DK you need to come home soon....................................
"Ra-Ra's stripping down so I can too..."
Right now I am officially giving myself a break from homework...I know, it's sad, lots of homework after only two days of school. That's what I get for doing all honors and an AP...haha, my mom still wants me to drop SOMETHING down to prep, but I'm stubborn and I know I can handle all the work, so I'm keeping everything where it is.
So last time I posted was...Thursday! Okeydokes, there's been a Friday and a Saturday and a today that I'll try to catch up on real quick.
Friday: FIRST FOOTBALL GAME!!!!!!!! We had to get to the school really early so we could practice little parts of the show, do REALLY fast sectionals, and then we had to figure out how to get on and off the field, and getting the doctor beats from Sam and all that good stuff. Practice was going ok (MUCH better than Thursday night...WORST PRACTICE EVA), and then afterwards we had about an hour to chill before we had to be in uniform and ready to march out to the field. Elise wasn't feeling good again (she had to leave...poor girl, don't understand half of what's going on but I feel bad for her) and so I was sitting with her and all of a sudden she just kinda looked up at me and she's like, "You miss DK." And I kinda blinked and then said, "...yup. How'd you know?" and she just shrugged. But it was true, I've missed him a lot this weekend. He's called a few times (scheduled to call again at 4:26, HAHAHAHA) but it's hard to talk when he calls cause he's always on the bus and IT'S SO LOUD, I CANNOT FOCUS OR TALK OR ANYTHING, rather difficult to have conversations when I'm constantly distracted).
So anyway, I changed into my uniform in the back (oh! funny story! ish...I was starting to change so I took my shirt off and Jamie comes into the backroom and she's like, "Should I just change back here? Oh ok, Ra-Ra's stripping down so I can too." and then pulls her pants down. It was HILARIOUS. At least I thought so. ;D) and then we all lined up (Soo-Jin is my two! YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and marched out to the stadium.
I LOVE the new arrangement of seating in the stands. Last year it was woodwinds all in one row, and then trumpets and mellos behind us, and then low voices behind them. THIS year it's trumpets, woodwinds, and mellos in a row (behind the battery) and then everyone else in the row behind us. This way I get to sit next to DK the whole game. :] :] :]
So the game. Me and Julia had SO much fun people watching! It seems like every single teenager that comes to the game only comes to walk around in circles and look for people of the opposite gender to hang out/make out with. If you come to a football game, WATCH THE FOOTBALL GAME. I got SO into the game, Meaghan kept laughing when I yelled at the players or the ref...there was this one AMAZING play though, where the quarterback of our team threw the ball towards two guys and from the stands we could clearly see who caught it but the other guy right next to him PRETENDED that he caught it and started to run one way and EVERYONE FOLLOWED HIM where the guy who actually HAD the ball gained a LOT of yards before anyone figured it out. It was AWESOM.
Then at halftime we performed! It actually went pretty good for me, I had a good show. There's stuff I know I can work on, but it felt good. Overall it was an ok performance, here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rarEdXZydQ&feature=channel_page
So yeah. There you go. First performance. The band is in SUCH a better spot than we were last year at this time.
Sidenote: I'm eating my icky yummy brownie thing and watching the video again and I just realized I'm chewing in time...WOW...
Saturday: Dad left for China. :''''( But thankfully he's only gone for a week this time so he'll be home soon. :] After he left mom dropped off Josh and Sanya at a friend's house, I went and got my haircut, and then mom and I had a mother-daughter day. Went shopping for about three or four hours and then went out to lunch at Applebee's and it was just a really great day. We talked SO much about SO much different stuff. I loved it. :D
Today: Church, DK's grandparents came up and talked to me for a little bit, it was kinda funny, then we went to Staples and got some school stuff, and I've been doing school work ever since. Trying to figure out stupid websites and all the crazy links and all the work I have to do for it. I only have to read an article today and then part of the book but there's stuff due on Wednesday I have to do now cause I'm staying after school Tuesday for MB and I don't want to have to do too much work after school. Then I have to do a huge math thingy that Cara said took awhile...BLEGH.
There's my update. Gotta go do homework now...
Oh! Good news though! DK's coming over tomorrow once he gets home. :] :] :]
So last time I posted was...Thursday! Okeydokes, there's been a Friday and a Saturday and a today that I'll try to catch up on real quick.
Friday: FIRST FOOTBALL GAME!!!!!!!! We had to get to the school really early so we could practice little parts of the show, do REALLY fast sectionals, and then we had to figure out how to get on and off the field, and getting the doctor beats from Sam and all that good stuff. Practice was going ok (MUCH better than Thursday night...WORST PRACTICE EVA), and then afterwards we had about an hour to chill before we had to be in uniform and ready to march out to the field. Elise wasn't feeling good again (she had to leave...poor girl, don't understand half of what's going on but I feel bad for her) and so I was sitting with her and all of a sudden she just kinda looked up at me and she's like, "You miss DK." And I kinda blinked and then said, "...yup. How'd you know?" and she just shrugged. But it was true, I've missed him a lot this weekend. He's called a few times (scheduled to call again at 4:26, HAHAHAHA) but it's hard to talk when he calls cause he's always on the bus and IT'S SO LOUD, I CANNOT FOCUS OR TALK OR ANYTHING, rather difficult to have conversations when I'm constantly distracted).
So anyway, I changed into my uniform in the back (oh! funny story! ish...I was starting to change so I took my shirt off and Jamie comes into the backroom and she's like, "Should I just change back here? Oh ok, Ra-Ra's stripping down so I can too." and then pulls her pants down. It was HILARIOUS. At least I thought so. ;D) and then we all lined up (Soo-Jin is my two! YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and marched out to the stadium.
I LOVE the new arrangement of seating in the stands. Last year it was woodwinds all in one row, and then trumpets and mellos behind us, and then low voices behind them. THIS year it's trumpets, woodwinds, and mellos in a row (behind the battery) and then everyone else in the row behind us. This way I get to sit next to DK the whole game. :] :] :]
So the game. Me and Julia had SO much fun people watching! It seems like every single teenager that comes to the game only comes to walk around in circles and look for people of the opposite gender to hang out/make out with. If you come to a football game, WATCH THE FOOTBALL GAME. I got SO into the game, Meaghan kept laughing when I yelled at the players or the ref...there was this one AMAZING play though, where the quarterback of our team threw the ball towards two guys and from the stands we could clearly see who caught it but the other guy right next to him PRETENDED that he caught it and started to run one way and EVERYONE FOLLOWED HIM where the guy who actually HAD the ball gained a LOT of yards before anyone figured it out. It was AWESOM.
Then at halftime we performed! It actually went pretty good for me, I had a good show. There's stuff I know I can work on, but it felt good. Overall it was an ok performance, here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rarEdXZydQ&feature=channel_page
So yeah. There you go. First performance. The band is in SUCH a better spot than we were last year at this time.
Sidenote: I'm eating my icky yummy brownie thing and watching the video again and I just realized I'm chewing in time...WOW...
Saturday: Dad left for China. :''''( But thankfully he's only gone for a week this time so he'll be home soon. :] After he left mom dropped off Josh and Sanya at a friend's house, I went and got my haircut, and then mom and I had a mother-daughter day. Went shopping for about three or four hours and then went out to lunch at Applebee's and it was just a really great day. We talked SO much about SO much different stuff. I loved it. :D
Today: Church, DK's grandparents came up and talked to me for a little bit, it was kinda funny, then we went to Staples and got some school stuff, and I've been doing school work ever since. Trying to figure out stupid websites and all the crazy links and all the work I have to do for it. I only have to read an article today and then part of the book but there's stuff due on Wednesday I have to do now cause I'm staying after school Tuesday for MB and I don't want to have to do too much work after school. Then I have to do a huge math thingy that Cara said took awhile...BLEGH.
There's my update. Gotta go do homework now...
Oh! Good news though! DK's coming over tomorrow once he gets home. :] :] :]
Thursday, September 3, 2009
WHY??? ;D
"There's no such thing as a bad person, because everyone is the result of bad things that have happened to them."
Why does he have to be so SMART? And he's usually almost always right too...WHY??? ;D
Why does he have to be so SMART? And he's usually almost always right too...WHY??? ;D
It's like a math equation...
It's funny...thinking back...last year was AMAZING. But during it...I didn't realize how great it was. That saying, "You don't really know what you have until it's gone" is SO true. Me and Cara were talking about it today during the assembly (oops...talking in an assembly...stupid assembly... :P)
Oh, random sidenote: does it bother anyone else when they have to write/type the word assembly? Or assistant? You know...you gotta write a bad word first...whenever I'm typing or writing I slowly write the first three letters and then I write the next one as fast as I possibly can. It bugs me.
I digress. ;D
So I guess I'll actually talk about my day today, I'm in a better mood.
Got off the bus, and it was like the PERFECT timing, cause as soon as I stepped off DK was coming down the sidewalk, so we found each other pretty easy this morning. :]
Went to HR, went down to the Counseling Center and dropped off my form, went to band...and I'm actually gonna complain about band. It's a LOT of people...I liked the smaller class, I really did. It's like double the size of last year, and I loved my class last year. So many people...we basically just filled out a form and typed our email onto a computer, woot. And I still haven't decided if I want to do bari or alto...GAH.
I was late to second period today, science. I have to go from one corner of the first floor to the opposite corner of the third floor---YIKES. I always get out late from band...but there was an assembly today so it was uber crowded so I hope I make it to class on time next Tuesday. I had lab today (which was actually FUN, I ENJOYED SCIENCE CLASS, A FIRST), so I was there two periods.
Then I went to lunch...ate good food, had two brownies (friend's birthday), then went to study hall where...*drum roll please*...I SAW DK!!!!!! He was there for period 4/5 and I was there for period 5/6, and they have a fifteen minute overlap. So I got to sit next to him and talk to him for fifteen minutes. Made me very happy. :D
I had English next with the crazy teacher who got married, divorced, pregnant, THEN engaged, and then married again (to the father of the pre-engaged baby) all in one summer. Oh yeah. YIKES. But I like her (even though DK and Shep hated her), and class was pretty fun. Me and Cara had a moment...we had to take this evaluating quizzy thingy and we got done like ten minutes early so I glanced over to the opposite side of the room and there was Cara just like STARING at her desk and I tried to get her attention (the room was dead quiet) but nothing was working so I just kinda stared at her and finally she looked up and we both had to like "stifle" (weird word...haha! WEIRD) laughing. So then for the next five minutes we were talking in our secret language and trying not to crack up. We had to stop looking at each other eventually, we couldn't handle it. ;D
Then math, but that's ninth and that's when we had the assembly (awkward word...). During it me and Cara were talking about last year and I think we both sounded really sappy at parts but it didn't matter cause we totally GOT what the other person was saying. Like about last year and mainly last year's lunch. I won't type everything out again, but I just miss it. So much. It was something to always look forward to, always cheer me up, best part of my day. Now lunch is just a motion I go through, there's not really any 'joy' in it, which sounds odd, but it's true. I took it for granted, and now it's gone. But it's making me think about DK in a way...he's leaving. I only have this year with him. I don't want him to leave and then me say, "Oh wow...what we had was really great and now it's gone..." I don't wanna take anything with him for granted. Not the 6 hour days with him, or the short 10 minute conversations at the bus circle. I have him NOW, and NOW is what I need to enjoy.
Sidenote: I always had another totally random realization today. People (in high school) expect the good-looking/pretty/handsome kids to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Just think about it for a minute...it's true. You'll meet a cute guy/girl and you instantly wanna get to know them better...why? Cause they look good. And what's one of the first questions you try to indiscreetly bring up? If they have a girlfriend/boyfriend. But then I thought about this...jerky cute guys have girlfriends. What would happen if you took away the cuteness? He'd be a jerk. No one likes a jerk. I bet you he wouldn't have a girlfriend. How LAME is that? We'll go out with a guy cause he's CUTE...that's all it takes. And thinking about this I was like WOAH...are we REALLY that shallow? And the answer is...YEAH. Now think of a kid who a lot of people make fun of cause he may be a little weird or a little too smart or maybe not as cute as their other guy friends with their pants on their knees. Keep the same personality...but make him hot. His "a little weird" would be turned into "he's unique, genuine, one of a kind", his "a little too smart" would be turned into "adorable genius". I don't know if this completely makes sense to you...but thinking about it in my head is just so BIZARRE. Flip-flop looks with personalities. We REALLY do judge on looks. It's like a math equation...
Average + Weird=No girlfriend/Not popular
Average + Sweet/Nice=Better chance of girlfriend/Well-known
Hot + Weird=Better chance of girlfriend/Low end of popular
Hot + Sweet/Nice=Girlfriend/Most popular
Yeah, dunno if this is making sense to whoever's reading this, but it makes sense in my head...and it's just bizarre. Just shows how shallow and stupid we really are.
I MAJORALLY DIGRESS.
After the assembly I went to "Government". HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!! We got TRUCKLOADS of homework...like...yeah, can't even describe it.
The bell rang, walked to locker with DK (I thought he forgot me at first... :P), walked out to the bus circle (me and DK realized that my right/his left are a better combination than his right/my left...ahh...funny conversations...I love em ;D), and I REALIZED THAT I WON'T SEE HIM AGAIN UNTIL MONDAY. :''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''( He can't come to practice tonight, or the game tomorrow and then he's in New York...my DK...*sniffle* But he'll be at Bucs, so that makes it semi-more ok. :D
Then I got home and there was this big truck in front of our house and I was like "Huh?" but then I remembered we're getting new windows today!!! And guess what? There's two guys installing the windows...and they're POLISH!! They have the coolest accents and speak Polish to each other, it is SO COOL. I'm lovin' it...bah dum bum bum bummm...... ;D
So moral of the day...don't take things (esecially DK!!) for granted, stop being stupid and shallow, Polish people are really cool, and you should always eat your green beans (???). ;D
Oh, random sidenote: does it bother anyone else when they have to write/type the word assembly? Or assistant? You know...you gotta write a bad word first...whenever I'm typing or writing I slowly write the first three letters and then I write the next one as fast as I possibly can. It bugs me.
I digress. ;D
So I guess I'll actually talk about my day today, I'm in a better mood.
Got off the bus, and it was like the PERFECT timing, cause as soon as I stepped off DK was coming down the sidewalk, so we found each other pretty easy this morning. :]
Went to HR, went down to the Counseling Center and dropped off my form, went to band...and I'm actually gonna complain about band. It's a LOT of people...I liked the smaller class, I really did. It's like double the size of last year, and I loved my class last year. So many people...we basically just filled out a form and typed our email onto a computer, woot. And I still haven't decided if I want to do bari or alto...GAH.
I was late to second period today, science. I have to go from one corner of the first floor to the opposite corner of the third floor---YIKES. I always get out late from band...but there was an assembly today so it was uber crowded so I hope I make it to class on time next Tuesday. I had lab today (which was actually FUN, I ENJOYED SCIENCE CLASS, A FIRST), so I was there two periods.
Then I went to lunch...ate good food, had two brownies (friend's birthday), then went to study hall where...*drum roll please*...I SAW DK!!!!!! He was there for period 4/5 and I was there for period 5/6, and they have a fifteen minute overlap. So I got to sit next to him and talk to him for fifteen minutes. Made me very happy. :D
I had English next with the crazy teacher who got married, divorced, pregnant, THEN engaged, and then married again (to the father of the pre-engaged baby) all in one summer. Oh yeah. YIKES. But I like her (even though DK and Shep hated her), and class was pretty fun. Me and Cara had a moment...we had to take this evaluating quizzy thingy and we got done like ten minutes early so I glanced over to the opposite side of the room and there was Cara just like STARING at her desk and I tried to get her attention (the room was dead quiet) but nothing was working so I just kinda stared at her and finally she looked up and we both had to like "stifle" (weird word...haha! WEIRD) laughing. So then for the next five minutes we were talking in our secret language and trying not to crack up. We had to stop looking at each other eventually, we couldn't handle it. ;D
Then math, but that's ninth and that's when we had the assembly (awkward word...). During it me and Cara were talking about last year and I think we both sounded really sappy at parts but it didn't matter cause we totally GOT what the other person was saying. Like about last year and mainly last year's lunch. I won't type everything out again, but I just miss it. So much. It was something to always look forward to, always cheer me up, best part of my day. Now lunch is just a motion I go through, there's not really any 'joy' in it, which sounds odd, but it's true. I took it for granted, and now it's gone. But it's making me think about DK in a way...he's leaving. I only have this year with him. I don't want him to leave and then me say, "Oh wow...what we had was really great and now it's gone..." I don't wanna take anything with him for granted. Not the 6 hour days with him, or the short 10 minute conversations at the bus circle. I have him NOW, and NOW is what I need to enjoy.
Sidenote: I always had another totally random realization today. People (in high school) expect the good-looking/pretty/handsome kids to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Just think about it for a minute...it's true. You'll meet a cute guy/girl and you instantly wanna get to know them better...why? Cause they look good. And what's one of the first questions you try to indiscreetly bring up? If they have a girlfriend/boyfriend. But then I thought about this...jerky cute guys have girlfriends. What would happen if you took away the cuteness? He'd be a jerk. No one likes a jerk. I bet you he wouldn't have a girlfriend. How LAME is that? We'll go out with a guy cause he's CUTE...that's all it takes. And thinking about this I was like WOAH...are we REALLY that shallow? And the answer is...YEAH. Now think of a kid who a lot of people make fun of cause he may be a little weird or a little too smart or maybe not as cute as their other guy friends with their pants on their knees. Keep the same personality...but make him hot. His "a little weird" would be turned into "he's unique, genuine, one of a kind", his "a little too smart" would be turned into "adorable genius". I don't know if this completely makes sense to you...but thinking about it in my head is just so BIZARRE. Flip-flop looks with personalities. We REALLY do judge on looks. It's like a math equation...
Average + Weird=No girlfriend/Not popular
Average + Sweet/Nice=Better chance of girlfriend/Well-known
Hot + Weird=Better chance of girlfriend/Low end of popular
Hot + Sweet/Nice=Girlfriend/Most popular
Yeah, dunno if this is making sense to whoever's reading this, but it makes sense in my head...and it's just bizarre. Just shows how shallow and stupid we really are.
I MAJORALLY DIGRESS.
After the assembly I went to "Government". HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!! We got TRUCKLOADS of homework...like...yeah, can't even describe it.
The bell rang, walked to locker with DK (I thought he forgot me at first... :P), walked out to the bus circle (me and DK realized that my right/his left are a better combination than his right/my left...ahh...funny conversations...I love em ;D), and I REALIZED THAT I WON'T SEE HIM AGAIN UNTIL MONDAY. :''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''( He can't come to practice tonight, or the game tomorrow and then he's in New York...my DK...*sniffle* But he'll be at Bucs, so that makes it semi-more ok. :D
Then I got home and there was this big truck in front of our house and I was like "Huh?" but then I remembered we're getting new windows today!!! And guess what? There's two guys installing the windows...and they're POLISH!! They have the coolest accents and speak Polish to each other, it is SO COOL. I'm lovin' it...bah dum bum bum bummm...... ;D
So moral of the day...don't take things (esecially DK!!) for granted, stop being stupid and shallow, Polish people are really cool, and you should always eat your green beans (???). ;D
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
School...
My first day of school was rotten. If you're reading this you probably already know why, and if you don't then I'm sorry but I'm in a horrible mood and I don't feel like explaining it all AGAIN. Maybe I'll post on it later. Maybe not. Sorry I'm in a stinky mood, but like I said, my day was rotten.
The end.
The end.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
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