Yes. I'm a human. Yes. I sweat. BUT NEVER THIS MUCH BEFORE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
Oh my goodness! It was insane!!! Practice tonight I was like this walking pool...I was DRENCHED. It was abosolutely RIDONKULOUS.
On a better note (hmmm...I'm feeling a concert D?), practice was good tonight. :D Well...people crashed into each other a couple times and not everyone counted all the time and some sixteen block was a mess, BUTTTTTTTT...there was a lot of ENERGY. At least I felt energetic about it...a lot more than at band camp. And so yeah...basically I'm just really happy that the energy was there and that we're cleaning stuff and it's staying clean...for the most part. :P
Something I noticed was that we seem to be holding ourself to a higher standard earlier in the season, which is probably why I was getting so stressed and discouraged during band camp. But I think it's a good thing we have a high standard...hopefully that means we'll go far. :]
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Bruno + Mars = Me Smiling
Yeah yeah yeah...I'm blogging again and I'm not done all my work...but, I am officially done for TONIGHT, so I figured I'd allow myself to post. :D
At the end of our dinners, we've started this little routine where we choose a chore to do after we're all excused. Tonight I chose unloading the dishwasher. It only takes like...three minutes to do, but I get so bored with just emptying it like a normal person, so I usually turn on the radio and dance and sing while putting stuff away.
At first B101 was playing Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" and that was fun, but it quickly changed to one of the older songs...and I didn't like it. And being the radio/TV flipper that I am, I changed the station to Q102. Some odd rap song ended but then this new song started...and I was like OH MYLANTA I LOVE THIS.
I didn't plan on blogging about it but I just looked it up on youtube and was listening again and was like...hey, sure why not?
So here is the new song that I have on repeat at the moment...it's so adorable!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5lO4hEAJHU
"Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars
Oh, her eyes, her eyes, make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair, falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day
Yeah, I know, I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so, sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look ok, I say
When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Because you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are
Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she let me
Her laugh, her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day
Oh, you know, you know, you know, I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same
So, don't even bother asking if you look ok
You know I'll say
When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Because you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are
The way you are, the way you are
Girl you're amazing, just the way you are
When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Because you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are. Yeah
At the end of our dinners, we've started this little routine where we choose a chore to do after we're all excused. Tonight I chose unloading the dishwasher. It only takes like...three minutes to do, but I get so bored with just emptying it like a normal person, so I usually turn on the radio and dance and sing while putting stuff away.
At first B101 was playing Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" and that was fun, but it quickly changed to one of the older songs...and I didn't like it. And being the radio/TV flipper that I am, I changed the station to Q102. Some odd rap song ended but then this new song started...and I was like OH MYLANTA I LOVE THIS.
I didn't plan on blogging about it but I just looked it up on youtube and was listening again and was like...hey, sure why not?
So here is the new song that I have on repeat at the moment...it's so adorable!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5lO4hEAJHU
"Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars
Oh, her eyes, her eyes, make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair, falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day
Yeah, I know, I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so, sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look ok, I say
When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Because you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are
Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she let me
Her laugh, her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day
Oh, you know, you know, you know, I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same
So, don't even bother asking if you look ok
You know I'll say
When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Because you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are
The way you are, the way you are
Girl you're amazing, just the way you are
When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Because you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are. Yeah
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Dear Self
So yeah I know I said I wouldn't post but I completely finished two of my Euro essays and I need a little rant time...
Dear Self,
I am about to rant about you, and you better deal with it. You know sometimes you can just be really really dumb? Honestly...not EVERYTHING is about you. You always take everything so personally and try to connect it all back to you, when in reality it probably doesn't involve you at all. You see two people talking in a corner? You think about how it could be related to you and what they might be saying about you. You hear someone randomly laugh when you're doing something? You wonder if they're laughing at you or if you did something wrong. Jeez just snap out of it! I hate it! You always try and read into what other people say, try to find a deeper meaning in it that is somehow connected to you...well we all know you are NO WAY intuitive so why even try?? You just end up making a big old mess of things in your head, a mess YOU create. A mess that doesn't even have to be there! So you know what Self? Just stop. Life isn't all about you.
Dear Self,
I am about to rant about you, and you better deal with it. You know sometimes you can just be really really dumb? Honestly...not EVERYTHING is about you. You always take everything so personally and try to connect it all back to you, when in reality it probably doesn't involve you at all. You see two people talking in a corner? You think about how it could be related to you and what they might be saying about you. You hear someone randomly laugh when you're doing something? You wonder if they're laughing at you or if you did something wrong. Jeez just snap out of it! I hate it! You always try and read into what other people say, try to find a deeper meaning in it that is somehow connected to you...well we all know you are NO WAY intuitive so why even try?? You just end up making a big old mess of things in your head, a mess YOU create. A mess that doesn't even have to be there! So you know what Self? Just stop. Life isn't all about you.
Farewell to Blog...for a few days
IT'S TIME FOR ME TO START TRUCKIN ON MY HOMEWORK.
Working all day pretty much until the beginning of school to get every assignment done...huzzah.
I'm sorry blog...this means a temporary break for us...BUT ONLY A BREAK! I will be back! I promise! I will blog as soon as all my work is done, there will be a big celebratory post!
But until then...farewell...
Working all day pretty much until the beginning of school to get every assignment done...huzzah.
I'm sorry blog...this means a temporary break for us...BUT ONLY A BREAK! I will be back! I promise! I will blog as soon as all my work is done, there will be a big celebratory post!
But until then...farewell...
Friday, August 27, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Definition of Love
What is love? Simple enough question, right? WRONG. The definition seems to change with the times and the standards...like I'm sure the definition of love 100 years ago was very different than what it is now. And what IS the definition now?
I've been thinking a lot about what my definition of love is...
- dictionary.reference.com says love is: –noun
- a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person
- merriam-webster.com says love is: noun
- attraction based on sexual desire
- thefreedictionary.com says love is: n.
- A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
- wordnetweb.princeton.edu says love is: (n)
- a strong positive emotion of regard and affection
"Hey, tell me haven't you heard?
Love is a serious word.
Hey, I think it's time you learned.
I don't care what you say. I don't care what you heard.
The word love is a verb."
YESSS
"Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself."
Midband-Camp Partay
So today was the big partay where all the kids and parents get together for some good wholesome fun...NOT!
Well...I mean a lot of people did have a good time and it was wholesome...but a lot of people had a non-wholesome good time...sigh.
I was in the basement for awhile...watching TV and just talking but it got really loud, so I head upstairs and then stayed there with some people for almost the rest of the time. WELL. Some people came upstairs from the basement and started talking to me...apparently some people were playing spin the bottle...like LEGIT (sorry Jess...haha). Whoever it landed on they would kiss them...like only a peck, but STILL...a peck ON THE LIPS. And then two people made out for a dare or something? I have no idea...
Ugh...I feel like there's only a few select people left in high school who think that kissing and holding hands and MAKING OUT should be only between two people who are IN A RELATIONSHIP.
I'm not mad at the kids who did it...I mean, it's their choice, I'm not gonna be all high and mighty and scold them or whatever, they can do what they want. I just feel...a little disappointed, and also a little left out. I mean like NO WAY JOSE do I wanna be a part of it!!! But I dunno...I feel different, and I know it's a good thing but still, it stinks not being able to hang out with certain people (who you've had fun with before) just because they're doing something that I disagree with.
Mini rant over...I think I might take a nap or something...my meds are making me slightly woozy... :P
Well...I mean a lot of people did have a good time and it was wholesome...but a lot of people had a non-wholesome good time...sigh.
I was in the basement for awhile...watching TV and just talking but it got really loud, so I head upstairs and then stayed there with some people for almost the rest of the time. WELL. Some people came upstairs from the basement and started talking to me...apparently some people were playing spin the bottle...like LEGIT (sorry Jess...haha). Whoever it landed on they would kiss them...like only a peck, but STILL...a peck ON THE LIPS. And then two people made out for a dare or something? I have no idea...
Ugh...I feel like there's only a few select people left in high school who think that kissing and holding hands and MAKING OUT should be only between two people who are IN A RELATIONSHIP.
I'm not mad at the kids who did it...I mean, it's their choice, I'm not gonna be all high and mighty and scold them or whatever, they can do what they want. I just feel...a little disappointed, and also a little left out. I mean like NO WAY JOSE do I wanna be a part of it!!! But I dunno...I feel different, and I know it's a good thing but still, it stinks not being able to hang out with certain people (who you've had fun with before) just because they're doing something that I disagree with.
Mini rant over...I think I might take a nap or something...my meds are making me slightly woozy... :P
Saturday, August 21, 2010
So here we go...uplifting lyric time yo! ;D
“It’s time for me to fly. Oh, I’ve got to set myself free. Time for me to fly, and that’s just how it’s got to be. I know it hurts to say goodbye, but it’s time for me to fly.”
“If you ever think about me, just know that I’ll be alright. I’m gonna be strong, I’m gonna do fine, don’t worry about this heart of mine. I know I’ll survive. Sure I’ll make it through.”
"If you smile through your fear and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow you'll see the sun come shining through for you."
"Let it go. Let it roll right off your shoulder. Don't you know the hardest part is over? Let it in. Let your clarity define you. In the end, you will only just remember how it feels"
"Thought I couldn't live without you. It's gonna hurt when it heals too. But it'll all get better in time. And even though I really love you. I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to."
"Since there's no more you and me it's time I let you go so I can be free and live my life how it should be. No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you. Yes I will."
"Chatting on the phone, can't take back those hours. But I won't regret, 'cause you can grow flowers from where dirt used to be...I can be alone yeah, I can watch the sunset on my own."
“If you ever think about me, just know that I’ll be alright. I’m gonna be strong, I’m gonna do fine, don’t worry about this heart of mine. I know I’ll survive. Sure I’ll make it through.”
"If you smile through your fear and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow you'll see the sun come shining through for you."
"Let it go. Let it roll right off your shoulder. Don't you know the hardest part is over? Let it in. Let your clarity define you. In the end, you will only just remember how it feels"
"Thought I couldn't live without you. It's gonna hurt when it heals too. But it'll all get better in time. And even though I really love you. I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to."
"Since there's no more you and me it's time I let you go so I can be free and live my life how it should be. No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you. Yes I will."
"Chatting on the phone, can't take back those hours. But I won't regret, 'cause you can grow flowers from where dirt used to be...I can be alone yeah, I can watch the sunset on my own."
Uplifting Songs
I'm just cranking out the posts today, aren't I? Haha! I think this is what happens when you have a day off of band camp and you need to do a lot of homework...and absolutely NONE of the homework gets done, but you blog a lot!!! ;D
SO. Lyrics.
I love them to death. It's so amazing finding yourself in someone else's words EXACTLY when you need them and when they describe how you feel even better than you can yourself.
BUT.
I had a realization.
Right now with the whole situation of the break up...I can't listen to/use lyrics from songs that are the "woe is me, I miss the person so much, yada yada" and also from songs that are the "I HATE YOU, YOU TERRIBLE PERSON, YADA YADA". As much as I WANT to listen to those types of songs sometimes (even though they're total opposites...I KNOW, but I'm a girl, mood swings are inevitable), I realized that I shouldn't.
Because the point of break ups (at least in my case...but I know break ups can be complicated) is because you can't be with them anymore...whatever the reason. So now for me...now that the break up is over...I kinda have to get over him. Like...I want to, and I know that. I don't want to erase him from my memory, I don't regret "us" at all, I have so much fun thinking about memories (well sometimes I start crying...BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT! ;D) and all that...but I know that I need to move on. And sad "woe is me songs" aren't gonna help that, cause then I'll just feel sorry for myself all the time and that's just poopey. And "I HATE YOU SONGS"...just NO. I went through that for a little bit, but I mean...I don't want to be mad at him. The goal in the long run is to get rid of my anger towards him (cause I can admit, I definitely have some strong negative feelings still), so me listening to those kinds of songs don't really help that. :P
I wanna focus on "uplifting" songs instead...it may sounds a little cheesy and all that, but I think that's what's best for me right now.
SO. Lyrics.
I love them to death. It's so amazing finding yourself in someone else's words EXACTLY when you need them and when they describe how you feel even better than you can yourself.
BUT.
I had a realization.
Right now with the whole situation of the break up...I can't listen to/use lyrics from songs that are the "woe is me, I miss the person so much, yada yada" and also from songs that are the "I HATE YOU, YOU TERRIBLE PERSON, YADA YADA". As much as I WANT to listen to those types of songs sometimes (even though they're total opposites...I KNOW, but I'm a girl, mood swings are inevitable), I realized that I shouldn't.
Because the point of break ups (at least in my case...but I know break ups can be complicated) is because you can't be with them anymore...whatever the reason. So now for me...now that the break up is over...I kinda have to get over him. Like...I want to, and I know that. I don't want to erase him from my memory, I don't regret "us" at all, I have so much fun thinking about memories (well sometimes I start crying...BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT! ;D) and all that...but I know that I need to move on. And sad "woe is me songs" aren't gonna help that, cause then I'll just feel sorry for myself all the time and that's just poopey. And "I HATE YOU SONGS"...just NO. I went through that for a little bit, but I mean...I don't want to be mad at him. The goal in the long run is to get rid of my anger towards him (cause I can admit, I definitely have some strong negative feelings still), so me listening to those kinds of songs don't really help that. :P
I wanna focus on "uplifting" songs instead...it may sounds a little cheesy and all that, but I think that's what's best for me right now.
The Secret of the Butterfly
"A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day he saw a small opening in the cocoon. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and could go no further… so, the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But, it had a swollen body, and small shriveled wings. He continued to watch the butterfly, because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It was never able to fly.
What he had done in his well intentioned kindness and haste and what he did not understand, was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If nature allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as we could have been, and we could never fly."
I love that story...it's a reminder to me to keep working through my struggles, even though it hurts and sometimes I really can't stand it. This story also reminds me of God...in the third paragraph, the author briefly mentions how God designed the butterfly a certain way so that it would be strong and succeed in life. And God designed me too!!! He knows exactly what I need to make it through life...and even though right now I kinda feel like I'm in my own little "coccoon", I know God has a reason for that.
Everything in life has a reason and purpose...and right now I need these hard times to learn and grow. I'm learning to understand myself more and also others. Thanks God. :]
He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But, it had a swollen body, and small shriveled wings. He continued to watch the butterfly, because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It was never able to fly.
What he had done in his well intentioned kindness and haste and what he did not understand, was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If nature allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as we could have been, and we could never fly."
I love that story...it's a reminder to me to keep working through my struggles, even though it hurts and sometimes I really can't stand it. This story also reminds me of God...in the third paragraph, the author briefly mentions how God designed the butterfly a certain way so that it would be strong and succeed in life. And God designed me too!!! He knows exactly what I need to make it through life...and even though right now I kinda feel like I'm in my own little "coccoon", I know God has a reason for that.
Everything in life has a reason and purpose...and right now I need these hard times to learn and grow. I'm learning to understand myself more and also others. Thanks God. :]
Stuck on sad...
You know those color wheel things? Well imagine like...an emotion wheel...I think I've hit like every category on it in the past couple days. But now I'm stuck on sad...which I guess is better than angry, because angry just makes things worse for everyone...while sad is just...sad for me. So...yeah.
"Mama whispered softly, time will ease the pain. Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same. And she said, how can I help you to say goodbye? It's okay to hurt, and it's okay to cry. Come let me hold you, and I will try. How can I help you to say goodbye?"
"And I'll take with me the memories to be my sunshine after the rain. It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday"
"I walk out of this darkness with no sense of regret. And I go with a clear conscience. We both know that you can't say that. Here's to show for all the time I loved you so"
"It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time. I want what's yours and I want what's mine. I want you but I'm not giving in this time...goodbye to you..."
"Mama whispered softly, time will ease the pain. Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same. And she said, how can I help you to say goodbye? It's okay to hurt, and it's okay to cry. Come let me hold you, and I will try. How can I help you to say goodbye?"
"And I'll take with me the memories to be my sunshine after the rain. It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday"
"I walk out of this darkness with no sense of regret. And I go with a clear conscience. We both know that you can't say that. Here's to show for all the time I loved you so"
"It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time. I want what's yours and I want what's mine. I want you but I'm not giving in this time...goodbye to you..."
...steroids???
Went to the doctor's today!
I've been having trouble with playing my saxophone at band camp...like, when we're inside and playing my throat starts to feel a little sore and if we play something really loud for a really long time, my throat hurts more and gets really airy and just odd...
But then when we head outside, it's a MESS. I'll be playing any note, and the sound of the note will come out, but then also there will be a humming/vibrating noise that'll come out too...and I can feel something buzzing in the back of my throat.
I've been getting SO mad and frustrated with myself...like I feel like I'm not doing my part and overall I just feel extremely poopey.
So yeah...went to the doctors. He took my temperature first and it was like 98.7 and so I said, "I'm normal!!" and mom snorted and goes, "That's the only time you can ever say that..." It was quite a funny little moment. :D
He did all this jawn to check my breathing and my throat and figured out that my vocal chords are strained and something's up with my trachea (I did the science project on that so I know what it is!!) so he's giving me...get this...STEROIDS.
AHHHH!!! It's just SO weird thinking I'm taking steroids...like I know they'll help and all that, and I know it's medicine...but it just sounds odd. Oh and he also told me that the steroids will make me jittery...OH BOY! Haha! And the other thing is...I HAVE TO RESTRICT MY TALKING. Like at first I thought he was joking but nooOOOooOOoo! That means no singing, no yelling, no loud voice, and no excessive talking. This is not gonna be easy...haha!
But he said I should be fine by Monday, which I am SO happy about!
Yaaaay...sports!!
I've been having trouble with playing my saxophone at band camp...like, when we're inside and playing my throat starts to feel a little sore and if we play something really loud for a really long time, my throat hurts more and gets really airy and just odd...
But then when we head outside, it's a MESS. I'll be playing any note, and the sound of the note will come out, but then also there will be a humming/vibrating noise that'll come out too...and I can feel something buzzing in the back of my throat.
I've been getting SO mad and frustrated with myself...like I feel like I'm not doing my part and overall I just feel extremely poopey.
So yeah...went to the doctors. He took my temperature first and it was like 98.7 and so I said, "I'm normal!!" and mom snorted and goes, "That's the only time you can ever say that..." It was quite a funny little moment. :D
He did all this jawn to check my breathing and my throat and figured out that my vocal chords are strained and something's up with my trachea (I did the science project on that so I know what it is!!) so he's giving me...get this...STEROIDS.
AHHHH!!! It's just SO weird thinking I'm taking steroids...like I know they'll help and all that, and I know it's medicine...but it just sounds odd. Oh and he also told me that the steroids will make me jittery...OH BOY! Haha! And the other thing is...I HAVE TO RESTRICT MY TALKING. Like at first I thought he was joking but nooOOOooOOoo! That means no singing, no yelling, no loud voice, and no excessive talking. This is not gonna be easy...haha!
But he said I should be fine by Monday, which I am SO happy about!
Yaaaay...sports!!
"Lead Me" by Sanctus Real
I L.O.V.E. this song!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAKBXBXz1fo&feature=channel
"Lead Me"
I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...
"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?
Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone"
I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...
“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?
Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”
So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up
I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAKBXBXz1fo&feature=channel
"Lead Me"
I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...
"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?
Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone"
I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...
“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?
Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”
So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up
I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
Friday, August 20, 2010
Oh Cleverbot...
User: Are you male?
Cleverbot: Yes what about you?
User: I'm female.
Cleverbot: Are you a woman? (...DER????)
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: You are my mother!
User: Hello son!
Cleverbot: Father? (UHHHHHH????)
User: No I'm your mother.
Cleverbot: You are a man.
User: I'm a woman.
Cleverbot: Oh , ok sure I will give you some of my love.
User: I'm your mother. You better love me.
Cleverbot: Whoa! Chill out! There's no need to get angry! Lol.
Cleverbot: Yes what about you?
User: I'm female.
Cleverbot: Are you a woman? (...DER????)
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: You are my mother!
User: Hello son!
Cleverbot: Father? (UHHHHHH????)
User: No I'm your mother.
Cleverbot: You are a man.
User: I'm a woman.
Cleverbot: Oh , ok sure I will give you some of my love.
User: I'm your mother. You better love me.
Cleverbot: Whoa! Chill out! There's no need to get angry! Lol.
I Want It To Matter To You That It Matters To Me
Yeah...what the title said...
"I find the thing that frustrates me most is not that he doesn’t get why I’m upset, it’s that he’s seemingly not upset that I’m bothered."
"I find the thing that frustrates me most is not that he doesn’t get why I’m upset, it’s that he’s seemingly not upset that I’m bothered."
Cleverbot!
I discovered cleverbot!!! I typed it into google and found the site and now I'm having a conversation with her! (she told me she's female and that she's pretty)
It's HYSTERICAL. I love this! I feel like I'm having the most awesome random converstaion with a friend...haha. :D
It's HYSTERICAL. I love this! I feel like I'm having the most awesome random converstaion with a friend...haha. :D
First Week of Band Camp...COMPLETE!
It's the end of the first week of band camp!!!
I was thinking back to last year and wondering how far we had gotten after our first week and I can't remember...SO. I said to myself, "Self...why don't you write on your blog about how far you are after the first week THIS year so then NEXT year you can compare!" and then I said to myself again, "Self...that's an absolutely marvelous idea!"
Soooo...end of first week status:
I was thinking back to last year and wondering how far we had gotten after our first week and I can't remember...SO. I said to myself, "Self...why don't you write on your blog about how far you are after the first week THIS year so then NEXT year you can compare!" and then I said to myself again, "Self...that's an absolutely marvelous idea!"
Soooo...end of first week status:
- Everyone (pretty much) has the opener entirely memorized
- We've learned all the sets for the opener (17 drill pages)
- 2 drill pages into the ballad
- Have played through the ballad a couple times
- Looked through Part Three once
- We've learned seven visuals (not perfected by everyone though...)
- Battery is AMAZINGUH...Dennis has done an absolutely awesome job with them. They all have Part One memorized and DOWN.
- Pit has Part One memorized
- Still working on everyone perfecting step outs
- Still working on everyone perfecting marking time
- Have run all that we have of the show
I think that's about it...I wonder what'll happen next year!!!!!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
You are just SO good at showing how much you "care" about me...every single time we've talked all you've done is tear me down, whether you realize it or not. So you know what? Just STOP. I dunno if you think that you're helping or if you think I want to sit here and fold little pretty tissue swans but right now you just need to leave me alone.
Looking back...
"Ok, I've been trying not to use this word cause it's a little inappropriate but I think I'm allowed to use it here for educational purposes, I think it'll make us all better. So when I say STERNUM just imagine that I'm actually saying BOOBIES." Everyone started CRACKING UP. And what's even funnier, is that a lot of the people with the 'sternum' issues before, got better. So that'll probably be a band joke for awhile... ;D
- It IS still a band joke! Every single day of band camp so far Mr. O has said "SternumSSSSS!!!!!!!'
We started with a Drill Down. I LOVE Drill Downs, they are SO much fun. I was usually the last freshman in last year so I was like, "Ok, I got it this year!" but nope, I didn't do so well during band camp. But then...Parent Preview...I WAS IN THE TOP 3.
- Little bragging moment...I won my first drill down today. :D :D :D
So that iPod that I lost for three months and then I found and then I hooked up to the computer and then crashed and haven't been able to use for another three months? Yup, that's STILL not fixedo. Not happy.
- It's STILL not fixed...BUTTTTTTT (that's a BIG BUT...haha!!!!), I'm using the computer at my dad's so I NOW HAVE AN AMAZING WORKING IPOD!!!
Some people in the band just have no MOTIVATION, and others just don't a good attitude, yeah they're at practice, but they give off the impression like they don't want to be there, and then their sour mood brings everyone else down and next thing you know you have like 20 stinky rehearsals in a row...YEAH.
- It was HYSTERICAL reading that...cause looking back it's like "Oh we were so good and got so far because everyone was so insanely committed!!!!" Haha! Just kinda reminds me all the hard work you have to go through before getting to the good...
No freaking wonder...
You:
FEELING
SENSING
INTUITION
THINKING
How hysterical is it that both of us always "thought" about things last...explains a lot of things, huh?
"Extraverts & Introverts are opposite in how they communicate...Communication differences can create conflict" Oh no DER!
- INFPs tend to live in the world of their imagination rather than the real world
- INFPs are idealistic and future oriented
- INFPs will typically strongly dislike conflict, especially if repeated
- Under stress can be quite critical and cynical
- INFPs will view “conflict” as a distasteful, uncomfortable part of life
- INFPs will not take the most logical approach to finding the solution
- INFPs will quickly become depressed by the conflict
- INFPs will naturally consider the feelings of others in conflict resolution activity until the INFP feels personal (likely idealistic) values are being ignored
- INFPs will look for “personal” solutions to the conflict first
- INFPs may overstate the effect of any hurt feelings they may have
- INFPs will probably take it way too personally
- INFPs may fail to logic things through enough
In descending order of energy allocation here is INFP function order:
FEELING
INTUITION
SENSING
THINKING
- ESFJs center their attention on the here and the now
- ESFJ likely to be repelled by criticism and negative comments
- Under stress may become emotional and withdrawn and become critical of self and others
- ESFJ is very likely to take the conflict personally
- ESFJ will likely not confront the conflict
- ESFJ will want to solve the conflict as soon as possible
- ESFJ likely will focus on the in the now solutions
- ESFJ will lean toward decision options that can be quickly implemented rather than future oriented
- ESFJ may not see the potential future concepts of the situation
- ESFJ are prone to indirectness and thus appear to be manipulative
- ESFJ struggle if they cannot discuss things calmly and without strife
- ESFJs will have difficulty with those who openly blame and criticize
FEELING
SENSING
INTUITION
THINKING
How hysterical is it that both of us always "thought" about things last...explains a lot of things, huh?
"Extraverts & Introverts are opposite in how they communicate...Communication differences can create conflict" Oh no DER!
INTERESTING
I think it's quite interesting when all a person can do is recognize their "positive" traits...makes sense why they can't learn from their mistakes then...because they can't admit to them, and even if they do, they won't dwell on them and become better from the realization.
INTERESTING.
INTERESTING.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Seems the only words I can write are those written by others...
"Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe
Sometimes I need you to stay away from me
Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know
Somehow I need you to go"
"I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet."
"It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye."
Sometimes I need you to stay away from me
Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know
Somehow I need you to go"
"I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet."
"It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye."
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Mo' Lyrics!
It's time to say goodbye
Mistreated one too many times
Mistakes that I have made
Along with these tears will fade
Away in time
It's time to start again
Pick up the pieces and begin
I don't need anyone
To tell me what I should become
I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up then I let myself down
Mistreated one too many times
Mistakes that I have made
Along with these tears will fade
Away in time
It's time to start again
Pick up the pieces and begin
I don't need anyone
To tell me what I should become
I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up then I let myself down
Friday, August 13, 2010
Tickle Attack
So we're at my dad's house this weekend and I've been sitting here on the computer for most of the night (getting my iPod to work...FINALLY!!!) while Sanya and Dad have been goofing off in the living room...WELL. I was called over to help Sanya in her tickle attack against dad...but we ended up turning against Sanya. We picked her up and put her down in dad's big comfy chair and held her down to give her a raspberry (what an odd word...) and she started screaming and dad says (in a totally serious voice), "Rachel stop tormenting your sister...THAT'S MY JOB!!!" Oh my word it was so funny!!!!! AHAHA!!!! That was the funny moment of the night. :D
Thursday, August 12, 2010
When you can't find the words to say...use lyrics!
“In times of brokenness You always show the depth of love that You bring me. I'm kneeling down in Your presence I know. Your source of life I'm receiving. I place myself in Your arms that will always lead me. And I won't let go cause there's nowhere else to go.”
"Maybe you've been wounded too. Maybe all this is your self protection. And all the hurts you thought were hidden are the ones now hurting me."
“Am I a hopeless case? You keep saying the same things. But is it on my face that it isn't sinking in? Like a homeless man tapping on a car window, I feel so disconnected but so in need.”
"I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do, and I've hurt myself by hurting you."
"I so hate consequences, and running from you is what my best defense is. Cause I know that I let you down, and I don’t want to deal with that."
"I know that this will hurt, but if I don't break your heart, then things will just get worse. If the burden seems too much to bear, remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there."
"I've thrown away so many things that could've been much more. And I just pray my problems go away if they're ignored. But that's not the way it works. No that's not the way it works."
“I wish I didn’t know inside that it won’t work out for you and I. I wish that I could stop this wishing, and just say my last goodbye.”
"Maybe you've been wounded too. Maybe all this is your self protection. And all the hurts you thought were hidden are the ones now hurting me."
“Am I a hopeless case? You keep saying the same things. But is it on my face that it isn't sinking in? Like a homeless man tapping on a car window, I feel so disconnected but so in need.”
"I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do, and I've hurt myself by hurting you."
"I so hate consequences, and running from you is what my best defense is. Cause I know that I let you down, and I don’t want to deal with that."
"I know that this will hurt, but if I don't break your heart, then things will just get worse. If the burden seems too much to bear, remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there."
"I've thrown away so many things that could've been much more. And I just pray my problems go away if they're ignored. But that's not the way it works. No that's not the way it works."
“I wish I didn’t know inside that it won’t work out for you and I. I wish that I could stop this wishing, and just say my last goodbye.”
Monday, August 2, 2010
Apologies
So I have three apologies to make right now...
- My dearest blog...a thousand apologies from the bottom of my heart...it was not my plan that you become almost nonexistent, things just haven't worked out between us...I know that hurts to hear and trust me, I will be trying my hardest to make this relationship between us work a little better in the near future...if you're willing to put in the time and the effort, then so am I. I'm so sorry...
- My dearest homework...YEAH. You know...I really do have to apologize cause you have been very much ignored that past week or so but I'm not feeling all too bad...I don't like you, we've never gotten along...and to be completely honest, you're just a pain in my petuty. So yeah, I owe you an apology...but whatever.
- My dearest grassy hill...I am SO sorry I rammed into you...it was an accident I promise!!! It was my first time driving and I was so nervous and I had no idea how to turn the car and so I kinda hit you...please forgive me? I don't even know you and I feel terrible...sorry. :(
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