Classic Novels in 33 Words or Less
- "The Catcher in the Rye": Emo traveler's guide to NYC.
- "A Farewell to Arms": Don't knock up a nurse in a world war.
- "The Grapes of Wrath": You'll eat anything when starving, even a stranger's breast milk.
- "The Great Gatsby": Don't trust your wife's ex-boyfriend if his first name is "The Great."
- "To Kill a Mockingbird": No mockingbirds are killed. African-Americans are.
- "Oedipus": Classic boy meets father, boy kills father, boy bangs mother, boy blinds himself love story.
- "The Outsiders": Bet on the poor kids in any rumble.
- "Romeo and Juliet": Don't overreact when your girlfriend dies.
- "The Scarlet Letter": Ho's gonna ho. Haters gonna hate.
- "Brave New World": Everyone gets stoned, everyone gets laid, Alphas rule the world, Epsilons clean the toilets, but The Savage just wanted to be left alone.