http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html/3/
I highly encourage you to read this article. All three pages worth. And really soak in the information. It's absolutely fantastic.
Here are some quotes (and my reflections) that really stood out to me:
I’ve heard the hate. I’ve heard the disgust. I’ve heard the disdain. I’ve heard the gossip. I’ve heard the distrust. I’ve heard the anger. I’ve heard it all, and I’ve heard it tucked and disguised neatly beneath a wrapper of self-righteousness and a blanket of “caring” or “religious” words. I’ve heard it more times than I care to number.
So have I. I think that's what makes this article really impactful, becuase I can relate to everything it talks about. I have those friends who are Christians and yet are still incredibly judgmental. I'M a Christian who is still incredibly judgmental. Not in terms of gay people though...my lack of kindness applies to those people who I see as being 'too different' compared to me. Maybe they're socially awkward, maybe they're disrespectful to others, maybe they're not as talented as I am. Whatever it is, I know there's certain people I look down on and brush aside in day-to-day life, not even thinking about trying to love them. Shame on me.
According to Christians, Jesus taught a couple of interesting things. First, “love one another.” Second, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”
Whenever I get in a conversation with someone about homosexuals and religion (which happens more often than you may think), the first thing that I usually say is that God tells us to love each other. I also add in the fact that Jesus loved the tax collectors and the prostitutes, people who were on the very outs of society, just like the gays are today. The bit about casting the first stone really struck me though, and it made me realize how incredibly stupid it is for me to pick apart other people...
Complete honesty time: I am constantly tearing down others in my mind throughout the day in order to make myself feel better. Walking through the hallways, I usually figure out if the girl in front of me is skinnier or fatter than me and if she's bigger, I get a little smug smile on my face that I'm "better than her". During Indoor Percussion practice, when one of the bass drums can't get their part but I've had my music down for months, I roll my eyes and think about how much better I am. Sitting in class, I see someone whose shoes don't go perfectly with their outfit or their color combinations/textures aren't exactly right. I judge them and then look at myself approvingly.
I am such an idiot...here's me casting so many stones every day, when I should be the one getting pelted with rocks.
I know there are many here who believe that living a homosexual life is a sin. Okay. But, what does that have to do with love?
Exactly...what does that have to do with love? What do any of my judgments have to do with love?
In truth, having a religion doesn’t make a person love or not love others. It doesn’t make a person accept or not accept others. It doesn’t make a person befriend or not befriend others. No, what makes somebody love, accept, and befriend their fellow man is letting go of a need to be better than others.
I'm not gay.
I don't dress differently.
I don't act differently.
I'm not addicted to drugs.
I don't smoke.
I don't have an eating disorder.
I don't have non-traditional piercings.
But I struggle everyday with the need to be better than others.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Sigh...life.
I am so ready to go to college...
I feel like my life is in triple fast-forward right now. I have to keep up with all my classes, I have to stay on top of jazz band, wind ensemble, indoor percussion, and symphony, I have to write a resume/cover letter for career study and get that figured out, I have to apply to Millersville's Honors College, I have to start preparing for AP tests, and on top of it all this week has a huge workload that I'm not prepared for.
Those are all my HAVE TO's...I also have my WANT TO's, and my family and friends unfortunately fall under that category.
I want more time with my family...I want to be able to see my dad more often. I want to bond with my sister cause I know she's struggling with stuff. I want to play video games with my brother. I want to have relaxing time with my mom, it seems to be always hectic and stressful now. I want to see my friends more. I want to actually HAVE a close circle of friends.
Figured out yesterday that David won't be able to go to post-prom because he'll already have left for Bluecoats. I told my mom about it and she said, "Well why don't you go with a group of friends?" WHAT group of friends? I have sprinklings here and there but not one big group that I'd spend five hours with at post-prom.
Sigh...life.
I want to have more patience.
I want to have peace.
I feel like my life is in triple fast-forward right now. I have to keep up with all my classes, I have to stay on top of jazz band, wind ensemble, indoor percussion, and symphony, I have to write a resume/cover letter for career study and get that figured out, I have to apply to Millersville's Honors College, I have to start preparing for AP tests, and on top of it all this week has a huge workload that I'm not prepared for.
Those are all my HAVE TO's...I also have my WANT TO's, and my family and friends unfortunately fall under that category.
I want more time with my family...I want to be able to see my dad more often. I want to bond with my sister cause I know she's struggling with stuff. I want to play video games with my brother. I want to have relaxing time with my mom, it seems to be always hectic and stressful now. I want to see my friends more. I want to actually HAVE a close circle of friends.
Figured out yesterday that David won't be able to go to post-prom because he'll already have left for Bluecoats. I told my mom about it and she said, "Well why don't you go with a group of friends?" WHAT group of friends? I have sprinklings here and there but not one big group that I'd spend five hours with at post-prom.
Sigh...life.
I want to have more patience.
I want to have peace.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Shakespearean Hokey-Pokey
O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to write.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke.
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from heaven's yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to write.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke.
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from heaven's yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Movie and Appetizers :)
I have had a ridiculously awesome past two days.
Friday after school, the jazz band met at Jeff's house to practice our music and it was a lot of fun. Pretty chill environment...and I got to lead a couple songs, which was great cause after we played them through at the end I could definitely tell they were getting better. I also got to eat pizza and chocolate lava bursts while I was there. :)
Then me and Kaitlin (sophomore tenor sax player) went back to my house, Leslie came and picked us up and then we all went to go see "The Vow" together. SUCH A GOOD MOVIE. Definitely not as good as "The Notebook" (a lot of people are comparing it to that) and it's not one I NEED to see again, but I really enjoyed it. Good balance of rumor and romance.
SPEAKING OF ROMANCE. Side-tangent time! I had the realization that I am not a very romantic person. I don't need or really even want those little "romantic gestures" or random presents or anything...like David and I did absolutely nothing for Valentine's Day and I was completely content with that. All that sickeningly sweet stuff is not for me. :P
BUT...I do enjoy romance movies. As long as they're not too over the top. Long story short..."The Vow" was excellent. :)
Then YESTERDAY, Indoor Percussion had its first competition and we were at Souderton, my old home! It was a lot of fun...especially walking in and knowing all the parents helping out. :) We had a really chill warm-up, tuned up our drums, and then performed.
Beginning was shaky (I blame the pit, haha), but then about 45 seconds in we really got into the groove and it was an overall good show. Probably the best we could have expected for a first competition.
We got home at 7:30...SO EARLY. So me, Red Shoes (real name Dave but most of us call him Red Shoes), Joelle, JWaz, Meaghan, and Andre all decided to go out to Applebee's. We got there around 8:30...and half-price apetizers start at 9:00. So the waiter came by like three times asking if we were ready and finally on his fourth round we were all like, "Ok we all know what we want now." It was pretty funny. :) And THEN...we lied and said it was JWaz's birthday and we got a free sundae, which we all shared. :)
It was so much fun...especially since I'm usually so busy I get no social time with my friends but I got to go out TWICE this weekend!
Friday after school, the jazz band met at Jeff's house to practice our music and it was a lot of fun. Pretty chill environment...and I got to lead a couple songs, which was great cause after we played them through at the end I could definitely tell they were getting better. I also got to eat pizza and chocolate lava bursts while I was there. :)
Then me and Kaitlin (sophomore tenor sax player) went back to my house, Leslie came and picked us up and then we all went to go see "The Vow" together. SUCH A GOOD MOVIE. Definitely not as good as "The Notebook" (a lot of people are comparing it to that) and it's not one I NEED to see again, but I really enjoyed it. Good balance of rumor and romance.
SPEAKING OF ROMANCE. Side-tangent time! I had the realization that I am not a very romantic person. I don't need or really even want those little "romantic gestures" or random presents or anything...like David and I did absolutely nothing for Valentine's Day and I was completely content with that. All that sickeningly sweet stuff is not for me. :P
BUT...I do enjoy romance movies. As long as they're not too over the top. Long story short..."The Vow" was excellent. :)
Then YESTERDAY, Indoor Percussion had its first competition and we were at Souderton, my old home! It was a lot of fun...especially walking in and knowing all the parents helping out. :) We had a really chill warm-up, tuned up our drums, and then performed.
Beginning was shaky (I blame the pit, haha), but then about 45 seconds in we really got into the groove and it was an overall good show. Probably the best we could have expected for a first competition.
We got home at 7:30...SO EARLY. So me, Red Shoes (real name Dave but most of us call him Red Shoes), Joelle, JWaz, Meaghan, and Andre all decided to go out to Applebee's. We got there around 8:30...and half-price apetizers start at 9:00. So the waiter came by like three times asking if we were ready and finally on his fourth round we were all like, "Ok we all know what we want now." It was pretty funny. :) And THEN...we lied and said it was JWaz's birthday and we got a free sundae, which we all shared. :)
It was so much fun...especially since I'm usually so busy I get no social time with my friends but I got to go out TWICE this weekend!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Stanza Epiphany
(For those of you who are my random followers and don't know what TAP is, quick explanation time: TAP stands for Teacher Apprenticeship Program and it's offered at my school for students who are committed to a teaching career in the future. I'm in it, it's awesome, I've learned a lot, and best part is...from 1:00 to 2:30 I leave the high school to be at the middle school, working as a type of student teacher with a 6th grade English class.)
Today with my 6th graders, I taught a lesson about poetry. It was their first day of the poetry unit and so we were going over some basic terms and I asked them what it was called when a bunch of lines were grouped together. Someone gave the correct answer that it's called a "stanza" and I was about to move on when one little boy looked up at me in amazement and said, "A stanza...stanza...I NEVER knew that!"
Surprising them all, I threw my hands up in the air, dropped down to my knees, and exclaimed, "YES! I taught a student something! I AM NOW A SUCCESSFUL TEACHER!"
I received a hearty round of applause.
I love my kids. :)
Today with my 6th graders, I taught a lesson about poetry. It was their first day of the poetry unit and so we were going over some basic terms and I asked them what it was called when a bunch of lines were grouped together. Someone gave the correct answer that it's called a "stanza" and I was about to move on when one little boy looked up at me in amazement and said, "A stanza...stanza...I NEVER knew that!"
Surprising them all, I threw my hands up in the air, dropped down to my knees, and exclaimed, "YES! I taught a student something! I AM NOW A SUCCESSFUL TEACHER!"
I received a hearty round of applause.
I love my kids. :)
Monday, February 20, 2012
"I'm a big kid now!"
Yesterday, David and I ventured into Philadelphia to see a PYO (Philadelphia Youth Orchestra) concert...ALONE. WITHOUT ADULT SUPERVISION. It was fantastic!
Earlier Sunday afternoon, we made reservations at the Bella Cena (an Italian restaurant near the Kimmel Center) for 6:00. We left his house around 5:00 and the GPS told us our estimated time of arrival would be like 5:57...but we did that whole "not going 55 mph on 422 thing" and got to the city at 5:37. Woot! But then...we had to find parking...not the most fun thing but we eventually found a place and were strutting the streets of Philly. :)
We parked on Locust Street and our dinner was on Spruce Street...we kinda intuitively wandered (David doing the intuitive part and me the wandering) and found it at 6:02.
I LOVE THAT RESTAURANT. It was pretty small and there was only two people on the waiting staff (the owner and one helper) but it was awesome. David ordered bruschetta as our apetizer...best idea ever. It was DELICIOUS. If you've ever seen "What About Bob?" we were definitely re-enacting the scene where Bob has dinner with the family for the first time. Then the pasta...I got gnocchi with a four cheese sauce and David got this pasta stuffed with meat with a tomato/cheese sauce...I love Italian food so much, haha. I came home last night and was describing the food to my mom and she laughed and said I should be a food critic the way I was raving about it. Oh! And then for dessert we had this scoop of chocolate ice cream that had a vanilla center with hazelnuts all throughout and it was rolled in cocoa powder...perfect way to end the meal. David picked that one too...I told him afterwards that having a good taste in food is definitely up on the list for traits girls should look for in guys. ;D
We left and walked about two minutes to the Kimmel Center, where we got our tickets for second floor seating and then went and waited for the concert to start.
The PYO (made up of "gifted, young, classical musicians" ages 6 to 21 from the Tri-State region) played two full symphonies: Symphony No. 1 in F minor, Op. 10 by Dmitri Shostakovich and Symphony No. 6 in B minor, Op. 74 -- Pathetique by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky.
They were SO good...really impressive. Great ensemble sound and a wonderful balance between the strings, the woodwinds, brass, and percussion. At one point I heard a clarinet solo and I was looking around the group for the clarinet player and then realized...that's not a clarinet playing, IT'S A TRUMPET.
Such a fun night...and it may sound silly, but I felt totally awesome being in the city with David and figuring out parking, directions, and all that without any parental help.
Earlier Sunday afternoon, we made reservations at the Bella Cena (an Italian restaurant near the Kimmel Center) for 6:00. We left his house around 5:00 and the GPS told us our estimated time of arrival would be like 5:57...but we did that whole "not going 55 mph on 422 thing" and got to the city at 5:37. Woot! But then...we had to find parking...not the most fun thing but we eventually found a place and were strutting the streets of Philly. :)
We parked on Locust Street and our dinner was on Spruce Street...we kinda intuitively wandered (David doing the intuitive part and me the wandering) and found it at 6:02.
I LOVE THAT RESTAURANT. It was pretty small and there was only two people on the waiting staff (the owner and one helper) but it was awesome. David ordered bruschetta as our apetizer...best idea ever. It was DELICIOUS. If you've ever seen "What About Bob?" we were definitely re-enacting the scene where Bob has dinner with the family for the first time. Then the pasta...I got gnocchi with a four cheese sauce and David got this pasta stuffed with meat with a tomato/cheese sauce...I love Italian food so much, haha. I came home last night and was describing the food to my mom and she laughed and said I should be a food critic the way I was raving about it. Oh! And then for dessert we had this scoop of chocolate ice cream that had a vanilla center with hazelnuts all throughout and it was rolled in cocoa powder...perfect way to end the meal. David picked that one too...I told him afterwards that having a good taste in food is definitely up on the list for traits girls should look for in guys. ;D
We left and walked about two minutes to the Kimmel Center, where we got our tickets for second floor seating and then went and waited for the concert to start.
The PYO (made up of "gifted, young, classical musicians" ages 6 to 21 from the Tri-State region) played two full symphonies: Symphony No. 1 in F minor, Op. 10 by Dmitri Shostakovich and Symphony No. 6 in B minor, Op. 74 -- Pathetique by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky.
They were SO good...really impressive. Great ensemble sound and a wonderful balance between the strings, the woodwinds, brass, and percussion. At one point I heard a clarinet solo and I was looking around the group for the clarinet player and then realized...that's not a clarinet playing, IT'S A TRUMPET.
Such a fun night...and it may sound silly, but I felt totally awesome being in the city with David and figuring out parking, directions, and all that without any parental help.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
"Beauty"
Finally I have some free time! I've been meaning to write this post for a couple weeks now, just haven't had the time for it...but now I do. :)
SO. About two weeks ago, I was in the band backroom hanging out with a bunch of Indoor Percussion kids just chilling before practice started. A lot of us had just been at a swim meet, and both guys and girls were talking about who they thought looked the best. One of the guys mentioned one specific girl and all the guys were like "OH MY WORD SHE IS SO HOT!" The weird part was that I knew the girl they were talking about and, in my mind, I didn't see her as being that attractive. I mentioned it outloud and the girls agreed with me, while all the guys were still drooling. Erego...we started naming girls in the school to hear what the guys thought.
Right away I listed off about four girls that I've always been insanely jealous of---I want their clothes, I want their hair, I want their legs, I want their petiteness...all of the above. And as I listed their names, the guys would shrug and make comments like, "Yeah she's alright" or "Meh...". Surprised by their reactions, I mentioned one last name...an itsy girl, skinny but toned, awesome legs, gorgeous face...AND ONE OF THEM GRIMACED AND THEN SAID, "No...she's skinny".
Now, I have seen girls who are TOO skinny...the yuck, not attractive skinny. But I thought this girl was small but in the uber-attractive way. Apparently not to those guys.
Stumped, I asked them to name the girls they saw as being really attractive. And names started coming up that I would never have thought of...girls who weren't 'skinny', had more curve and 'umph' than me, with legs that I would never be jealous of.
It was a REALLY perplexing situation.
So then of course my mind starts racing...what do they think of ME? Am I too skinny? Ewww that's such a weird thought...I'm not that skinny...I wish I were more like (insert name here)...but they just said they don't like that, so should I NOT want to be like that?
And then I realized...wait a minute, I LIKE my body. When I'm not around those certain girls, I am so proud of the way I am. I like how I'm curvy...how I have boobs but they're proportionate...how I do have hips but they even out my hour glass figure and so they look good. I love finding clothes I look fantastic in and dressing nice. I love my legs after a tough Indoor Percussion practice when I can feel and see my muscles from my hard work.
...so then why am I trying to figure out how to please those guys? Or why am I trying to please my mindset that tells me I need to be skinnier like those girls? I LIKE myself. I know I do. It's just in those certain situations that I convince myself I need to change.
Instead of trying to have the body that the guys want, or the body that certain girls have, why don't I try to keep the body that I like? What's MY preference? Should I let their opinions decide what I look like? And obviously from the conversation, people have insanely opposite opinions on beauty. I can't possibly please all of the varying opinions.
I'll just please me then...
...which is a fantastic epiphany. Problem is living it out. Two weeks have gone by since that realization and I still envy other girls. It's only natural...thanks to me being conditioned by this society. But I don't feel quite the same urge to change myself as I did before...I remind myself that I like the way I am, and that's what really matters. :)
SO. About two weeks ago, I was in the band backroom hanging out with a bunch of Indoor Percussion kids just chilling before practice started. A lot of us had just been at a swim meet, and both guys and girls were talking about who they thought looked the best. One of the guys mentioned one specific girl and all the guys were like "OH MY WORD SHE IS SO HOT!" The weird part was that I knew the girl they were talking about and, in my mind, I didn't see her as being that attractive. I mentioned it outloud and the girls agreed with me, while all the guys were still drooling. Erego...we started naming girls in the school to hear what the guys thought.
Right away I listed off about four girls that I've always been insanely jealous of---I want their clothes, I want their hair, I want their legs, I want their petiteness...all of the above. And as I listed their names, the guys would shrug and make comments like, "Yeah she's alright" or "Meh...". Surprised by their reactions, I mentioned one last name...an itsy girl, skinny but toned, awesome legs, gorgeous face...AND ONE OF THEM GRIMACED AND THEN SAID, "No...she's skinny".
Now, I have seen girls who are TOO skinny...the yuck, not attractive skinny. But I thought this girl was small but in the uber-attractive way. Apparently not to those guys.
Stumped, I asked them to name the girls they saw as being really attractive. And names started coming up that I would never have thought of...girls who weren't 'skinny', had more curve and 'umph' than me, with legs that I would never be jealous of.
It was a REALLY perplexing situation.
So then of course my mind starts racing...what do they think of ME? Am I too skinny? Ewww that's such a weird thought...I'm not that skinny...I wish I were more like (insert name here)...but they just said they don't like that, so should I NOT want to be like that?
And then I realized...wait a minute, I LIKE my body. When I'm not around those certain girls, I am so proud of the way I am. I like how I'm curvy...how I have boobs but they're proportionate...how I do have hips but they even out my hour glass figure and so they look good. I love finding clothes I look fantastic in and dressing nice. I love my legs after a tough Indoor Percussion practice when I can feel and see my muscles from my hard work.
...so then why am I trying to figure out how to please those guys? Or why am I trying to please my mindset that tells me I need to be skinnier like those girls? I LIKE myself. I know I do. It's just in those certain situations that I convince myself I need to change.
Instead of trying to have the body that the guys want, or the body that certain girls have, why don't I try to keep the body that I like? What's MY preference? Should I let their opinions decide what I look like? And obviously from the conversation, people have insanely opposite opinions on beauty. I can't possibly please all of the varying opinions.
I'll just please me then...
...which is a fantastic epiphany. Problem is living it out. Two weeks have gone by since that realization and I still envy other girls. It's only natural...thanks to me being conditioned by this society. But I don't feel quite the same urge to change myself as I did before...I remind myself that I like the way I am, and that's what really matters. :)
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