I actually made a good analogy yesterday! I was talking with someone about the pain and hurt that we've gone through, and how I've been healed---not by friends (though they helped), but by God:
"Who do you have to heal you? God. DK isn't the one who put me back together, he's not the one who healed my pain. He certainly helped, being supportive and listening to me and caring, but he's not the one who mended my hurt. Think of it this way (analogy time, I've been bad at these lately, I hope this works):
I'm lying in a hospital bed, my body broken, bruised, and bleeding. I was just in a car accident, and there's little chance of me surviving. Sitting next to my bed is David Kile, comforting the best he can, whispering words of encouragement and holding my hand. He makes a joke, trying to lighten my mood, and I give a little smile. His words soothe me, but they can do nothing for my broken body. The door opens and the surgeon comes in and snaps on a pair of gloves. He pulls over a chair and looks deep into my eyes, "I'm here to help you Rachel, I have the power to make you better, I just need you to trust me. Can you do that?" I nod weakly.
After the surgery, I feel much better. Still weak and fragile, I'll need time to recover, but I've gotten through the worst. I glance down at the scars, no longer feeling any pain.
I've been healed.
The surgeon was God. He was the one who healed me, I had to completely trust Him, believe that He knew what He was doing, He could see the bigger plan in all of this."
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Forgiveness
Well me and Shep are talking now (continuing a conversation from before) and it's actually going pretty good, er...WELL. ;D
Tonight's gotten better...I've actually been having some pretty good email conversations lately, and it's really made me think. My thoughts tonight were mostly about forgiveness...just a bunch of random stuff. Here's the email I sent:
"I've been thinking about forgiveness a lot, because of this situation and also with reading through "The Shack", so I thought I would share some thoughts.
Forewarning: these are THOUGHTS, I'm not trying to preach or tell you what to do, I need you to understand that before reading this.
I think it's important for everyone to forgive those who have hurt them. I know a lot of times people want to make the other person feel the same hurt they've experienced, they want them to be punished. So the thought of forgiving that person is immediately pushed aside because forgiveness is often paired with forgetting. But forgiveness isn't about forgetting, it's about letting go of the person's throat, letting go of that desire to hurt them.
Forgiveness also isn't about becoming buddy-buddy with someone. Forgiveness does not establish relationship. Unless people admit to what they have done and change their minds and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. Forgiving someone is about releasing them from judgement, but without true change, a relationship is impossible.
Forgiveness is an incredible power that we share with God. Jesus gives us the ability to forgive others because he first forgave us.
I think forgiveness is mostly for the forgiver, it releases you from the pain that will destroy you. Without forgiveness, the pain will destroy joy and your ability to love fully and openly. When you choose to forgive someone else, you're loving them as well. And even though you may not love the person or even WANT to love the person, God loves them. We have to be able to understand that there is more power in love and forgiveness than in hate. Forgiveness doesn't require anyone to pretend that what that certain person did never happened.
I think one of the hardest parts about forgiving for me is that I feel like if I forgive, then I'm letting the person off the hook, what they did is excused. But...I've realized that forgiveness does not excuse anything. But it's not my place to judge whoever it is. We judge because we feel as if we're somehow better than the other person, we're above them and that gives us the right to judge. Well, that's wrong. God created us all equal. God handles judgement, not us.
After forgiveness, it's still ok to be angry. What some people have done in our lives is terrible and has caused us a lot of pain. And because of the pain we feel angry, it's how we respond. But letting the anger and pain and hurt we feel stop us from forgiving others...that's not right."
Tonight's gotten better...I've actually been having some pretty good email conversations lately, and it's really made me think. My thoughts tonight were mostly about forgiveness...just a bunch of random stuff. Here's the email I sent:
"I've been thinking about forgiveness a lot, because of this situation and also with reading through "The Shack", so I thought I would share some thoughts.
Forewarning: these are THOUGHTS, I'm not trying to preach or tell you what to do, I need you to understand that before reading this.
I think it's important for everyone to forgive those who have hurt them. I know a lot of times people want to make the other person feel the same hurt they've experienced, they want them to be punished. So the thought of forgiving that person is immediately pushed aside because forgiveness is often paired with forgetting. But forgiveness isn't about forgetting, it's about letting go of the person's throat, letting go of that desire to hurt them.
Forgiveness also isn't about becoming buddy-buddy with someone. Forgiveness does not establish relationship. Unless people admit to what they have done and change their minds and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. Forgiving someone is about releasing them from judgement, but without true change, a relationship is impossible.
Forgiveness is an incredible power that we share with God. Jesus gives us the ability to forgive others because he first forgave us.
I think forgiveness is mostly for the forgiver, it releases you from the pain that will destroy you. Without forgiveness, the pain will destroy joy and your ability to love fully and openly. When you choose to forgive someone else, you're loving them as well. And even though you may not love the person or even WANT to love the person, God loves them. We have to be able to understand that there is more power in love and forgiveness than in hate. Forgiveness doesn't require anyone to pretend that what that certain person did never happened.
I think one of the hardest parts about forgiving for me is that I feel like if I forgive, then I'm letting the person off the hook, what they did is excused. But...I've realized that forgiveness does not excuse anything. But it's not my place to judge whoever it is. We judge because we feel as if we're somehow better than the other person, we're above them and that gives us the right to judge. Well, that's wrong. God created us all equal. God handles judgement, not us.
After forgiveness, it's still ok to be angry. What some people have done in our lives is terrible and has caused us a lot of pain. And because of the pain we feel angry, it's how we respond. But letting the anger and pain and hurt we feel stop us from forgiving others...that's not right."
Frustrations...
Well, I made it through the day. Huzzah.
I was having a GREAT day, ok, well great considering all the tests and everything, and then Shep just goes and ruins it...
He FINALLY knows, FINALLY. How long have the three of us been talking about it? Me and Cara at least a few weeks, maybe a month, and with DK at least a week or two. Last night we semi talked to him about it but it wasn't our place, so we kept our mouths shut, but she told him today so he knows now and he won't talk about it!!
Ok, things are better than from the time I started this post, but I'm still kinda frustrated...
Sometimes (and DK mentioned this) it seems like we have to be annoyed at him before he'll talk to us. He has to be talking to us as a service for US rather than because it might help HIM.
I also guess part of me being so upset over this---I think I'm probably making a bigger deal out of it than it is---is that I've gotten used to a standard with DK, how I talk to him, how he talks to me, just the communication. And it's different with Shep, and sometimes it's hard to remember that DK is the one that will talk to me no matter what, all the time, whenever I need him, and Shep needs some more coaxing, not much of the talker, and would rather ask questions than talk about himself. I guess me and DK get each other more, I'm still trying to figure out Shep sometimes.
I was having a GREAT day, ok, well great considering all the tests and everything, and then Shep just goes and ruins it...
He FINALLY knows, FINALLY. How long have the three of us been talking about it? Me and Cara at least a few weeks, maybe a month, and with DK at least a week or two. Last night we semi talked to him about it but it wasn't our place, so we kept our mouths shut, but she told him today so he knows now and he won't talk about it!!
Ok, things are better than from the time I started this post, but I'm still kinda frustrated...
Sometimes (and DK mentioned this) it seems like we have to be annoyed at him before he'll talk to us. He has to be talking to us as a service for US rather than because it might help HIM.
I also guess part of me being so upset over this---I think I'm probably making a bigger deal out of it than it is---is that I've gotten used to a standard with DK, how I talk to him, how he talks to me, just the communication. And it's different with Shep, and sometimes it's hard to remember that DK is the one that will talk to me no matter what, all the time, whenever I need him, and Shep needs some more coaxing, not much of the talker, and would rather ask questions than talk about himself. I guess me and DK get each other more, I'm still trying to figure out Shep sometimes.
Let's see...
Let's see how much stuff I have to do today...
- German presentation
- Math test
- Science test
- Second half of Health Final Exam
- Biography speech presentation in English
- Write a 2-page paper about Bill Clinton
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Leadership Seminars
So last night was our second night of leadership seminars for marching band, they are SO much fun!! I've been learning SO much and having such a great time with everyone...it's been AWESOM.
Last night we did an activity where we each took turns leading the rest of the group. We headed down to the lot (then Mr. O. had us run all the way back up the hill to the band room and sprint back down again, that was kinda fun actually), and set up a 3 x 3 block. Then there was like 3 people just sitting to the side, observing and taking notes, and then there was the leader. Each leader got a set of about 5 directions that they had to have their group. For example, one set could be: BW4, FW6, LF, FW8, halt. That would actually be one of the easier ones. And the leader got 4 minutes to teach the entire group the set. It was a lot of fun!! I marched in the block for awhile (I didn't really want to volunteer, I still haven't completely gotten my voice back and I'll admit, I was NERVOUS), and then Mr. O. had the new peeps go. It was actually kinda fun to lead, stressful trying to remember all those tips that he had given previous people and having to teach in a time constraint, but still, it was fun, I had a great time with it.
Then we did another trust activity, we had to pair up with a partner, I went with Becca, and one of us had to be blindfolded, and the other person had the job of leading their partner (without touching them) to discover things that they wouldn't notice normally, like with sight. So Becca was blindfolded, and I took her around to different objects just to feel the textures. She felt two different kinds of mulches and just by touching she could figure out which one was newer. And then I had her measure the bench (oh, we were outside BTW) with her hands and see what the width and depth was. Then we had a run-in with another group. Havard was leading and Ewik was blindfolded. So I was like, "Ok, Becca, you're gonna run into someone, who is it??" So they hugged each other and she reached up and felt his hair (which is very spiky) and she's like, "Ewik!!!!!" It was funny.
Then we switched partners and I was with Sam. She had me take my shoes off and then we just walked around, experiencing the different textures that I would NEVER have noticed with my shoes on. It was SO cool!! And it was also kinda fun to completely trust her, I know I didn't have to worry that she would let me run into something, so I just trusted. And it was a REALLY neat experience.
We also got the forms last night to fill out, saying why we want to be a student leader and all that good stuff. I really wanted to hand it in first thing this morning, but last night I was talking to people and then I realized that I wanted to do a really great job and not rush it, so I'll hand it in tomorrow.
School time!!
Last night we did an activity where we each took turns leading the rest of the group. We headed down to the lot (then Mr. O. had us run all the way back up the hill to the band room and sprint back down again, that was kinda fun actually), and set up a 3 x 3 block. Then there was like 3 people just sitting to the side, observing and taking notes, and then there was the leader. Each leader got a set of about 5 directions that they had to have their group. For example, one set could be: BW4, FW6, LF, FW8, halt. That would actually be one of the easier ones. And the leader got 4 minutes to teach the entire group the set. It was a lot of fun!! I marched in the block for awhile (I didn't really want to volunteer, I still haven't completely gotten my voice back and I'll admit, I was NERVOUS), and then Mr. O. had the new peeps go. It was actually kinda fun to lead, stressful trying to remember all those tips that he had given previous people and having to teach in a time constraint, but still, it was fun, I had a great time with it.
Then we did another trust activity, we had to pair up with a partner, I went with Becca, and one of us had to be blindfolded, and the other person had the job of leading their partner (without touching them) to discover things that they wouldn't notice normally, like with sight. So Becca was blindfolded, and I took her around to different objects just to feel the textures. She felt two different kinds of mulches and just by touching she could figure out which one was newer. And then I had her measure the bench (oh, we were outside BTW) with her hands and see what the width and depth was. Then we had a run-in with another group. Havard was leading and Ewik was blindfolded. So I was like, "Ok, Becca, you're gonna run into someone, who is it??" So they hugged each other and she reached up and felt his hair (which is very spiky) and she's like, "Ewik!!!!!" It was funny.
Then we switched partners and I was with Sam. She had me take my shoes off and then we just walked around, experiencing the different textures that I would NEVER have noticed with my shoes on. It was SO cool!! And it was also kinda fun to completely trust her, I know I didn't have to worry that she would let me run into something, so I just trusted. And it was a REALLY neat experience.
We also got the forms last night to fill out, saying why we want to be a student leader and all that good stuff. I really wanted to hand it in first thing this morning, but last night I was talking to people and then I realized that I wanted to do a really great job and not rush it, so I'll hand it in tomorrow.
School time!!
Monday, June 1, 2009
More pictures!!!
So I got bored today and went to this site that Jess showed me yesterday, it's called http://www.picnik.com/. SO much fun. Here's what I did:
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