Alien Abduction Insurance

No joke. It exists. Legitimately.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alien_abduction_insurance

The policy says that if you can prove that you've been abducted by aliens, you get an insurance payout. I dunno whether to be more concerned about the fact that there's ACTUAL insurance for ALIENS, or the fact that if you're abducted by aliens...how would you be able to prove it? Wouldn't you be gone? Hmm...

Get this though...there have been people who have filed claims before, and...THERE HAVE BEEN PAYMENTS. AT LEAST TWO. How insane...

Some of the policies cover alien impregnation, alien examination, and death caused by aliens. Haha, the best part is that the alien impregnation insurance is available to MEN as well as women. :P

Thank you genius who created this insurance. I can now sleep better at night knowing that if I wake up with diamond shaped bruises, which would be microchip implants no doubt, I will be able to pay for medical attention. Or if I need to raise an alien baby, I know my baby will get a comfortable upbringing and access to a good education.

Yaaaay...education! ;D