MLIA

So I check this site pretty regurlarly for a good laugh and since I'm kinda bored I figured I'd put some of my favorites:

Today, I rear ended another car and the person I hit happened to be a midget. The guy got out his car and walked to my window, looked up and said, “I am not happy.” I wish I had the courage to say, “Then which one are you?” Instead I just apologized. MLIA

Today, me and my best friend made a pact, that on each of our weddings, we'd stand up, say: I'd like to make a toast, take out a toaster, put it on the table, wait for the toast to pop up, and sit down casually. I can't wait. MLIA (Someone better do that for my wedding! ;D)

Today I asked a french bloke if he played video games. He said Wii. MLIA.

Today, I realized that Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber, the two main characters in Veggie Tales, are fruits. MLIA

Today, I was short 50 cents for a bus ride home to see my family for Thanksgiving. Dejected, I turned to go sit on the curb. An elderly homeless man dug into his pockets and gave me the 50 cents I needed to get home but demanded that I had to give him five. Confused, I told him that I did not have that kind of money. He smiled broadly, grabbed hold of my wrist and then slapped me five before running across the street. MLIA

Today, I was working at my store and a customer was frantically searching for something. Her English wasn't great and she kept saying "Chicken Balls, Chicken Balls". We searched the entire store to find small meat balls made of chicken until we finally realized she meant eggs... MLIA

I was sitting on a couch watching TV with my dad and an ad for New Moon came on. Right after Edward says "This will be the last time you see me." My dad shouts "Well thank god for that!" at the TV. I just gained more respect for him. MLIA