THE LUNCH SONG

Well, for those of you who read the "About the Artist" column on DK's site I'm sure you're just dying to know what his "heartrending ballad" is. With permission from the author, here is "The Lunch Song":

The Lunch Song
Sung to the tune of “Another Irish Drinking Song”
By DK

Hai-dee Dai-dee Dai-dee Dai-dee Dai-dee Dai-dee Dai!

Now gather, lads and lasses
Around our lunchin’ spot
I’ll tell a little story
About a case of rot

We’ve got a girl named Rachel
“The smartest of the bunch”
Or so we thought until one day
She packed a rotten lunch

Her lunch was full of maggots
Fleas and rats and mold
It was quite disgusting
She should’ve kept it cold

She gasped and threw her sandwich
And everyone did flee
It struck poor Cara on the head
Now that’s unsanit’ry

NOW EVERYBODY’S CRYIN’
AND ROTTEN FOOD IS FLYIN’
WE’LL SING AND SING AND SING AND SING
UNTIL HER ROT’S NO MORE

WE’LL DANCE AND SING AND RUN
UNTIL THE EARLY MORNING SUN
THEN THROW UP PASS OUT WAKE UP
AND GO BACK TO LUNCH FOR MORE FUN

Hai-dee Dai-dee Dai-dee Dai-dee Dai-dee Dai-dee Dai!

Now this is quite disgusting
It might be best to run
The moldy oozing bagels
A rotten purple plum

When Dr. Park, the Asian saw this
His face turned chalk white
He screamed of boogers in his hood
And David Kile said “quite”

Then Rachel got up quickly
To throw the rot away
She didn’t see the chair that was
a-Standin’ in her way

She tripped and fell and dropped her lunch
All over Sheppy’s face
He screamed with panic and sprayed her
With a can of mace

NOW EVERYBODY’S CRYIN’
AND ROTTEN FOOD IS FLYIN’
WE’LL SING AND SING AND SING AND SING
UNTIL HER ROT’S NO MORE

WE’LL DANCE AND SING AND RUN
UNTIL THE EARLY MORNING SUN
THEN THROW UP PASS OUT WAKE UP
AND GO BACK TO LUNCH FOR MORE FUN

(Slower)
Ev’rybody’s dead now
I know it’s really sad
I brought this sorry tale for you
I hope you listened, lad

Now if you want to avoid
The fate that killed my buds
You’d best stay clear of Rachel
Or you’ll eat a rotten spud

(fast)
OOOH HAI-DEE DAI-DEE DAI-DEE DAI-DEE DAAAAAI